God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested


The longest sentence known to man: "I do."


I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!


Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?


What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?


I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.


Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.


What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle? If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.


What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!


Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"