A certain well-known pure mathematician had a wife who, whileintelligent, was not into mathematics. However, by continuedpractice, she learnt to distinguish between the conversationsof algebraists and analysts. So when he had guests to dinnerwho were talking about mathematics, if they were analysts, shewould introduce at a suitable pause in the conversation: "But what happens at the boundary?"Whereas, if they were algebraists, she would say: "But do the roots lie in the field?"By this means she was always able to impress his visitors byher knowledge of mathematics.

Lion King of Mali

This is the story of a little boy in his father's kingdom of Mali. Prince Sundiata was born to a homely mother, who, according to legend, was blessed by the spirits of the buffalo and lion. However, he has two problems: he can neither speak nor walk. Sundiata has a rival for his father's throne, his half-brother, whose mother is the evil Sassouma Berete. As Sundiata grows both in body and wisdom, King Maghan Kon Fatta begins to prepare him for his place on the throne. Sundiata grows stronger and so does Sassouma's contempt for him. Will Sundiata take his rightful place as ruler of Mali? To find out, check out this magnificent story.

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested


The longest sentence known to man: "I do."


I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!


Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?


What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?


I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.


Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.


What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle? If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.


What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!


Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

New jokes

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!


I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence." It didn't sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it. The 2nd edition went: "To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence." It's doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is going to go: "Re-read this line." Now, if I could just find the time to write it.


What did the german clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick, tick'?
'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'