Travelling Puns
If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack, don't yell out "Hi Jack!"
Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's just plane food.
Every so often, railroad conductors have to go for retraining.
A railroad engineer can't lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
If two people invest in a boat, it's a partner-ship.
Sailors like to seas opportunities.
A sailor has ties to home but is knot there often.
Those who work on reducing auto emissions go home exhausted.
If you ride a bus, you have to pay your fare share.
　
A police officer stops a man...
A police officer stops a man driving in the opposite direction in a one way street. "Didn't you see the arrow ?" "Arrow ?" the driver, obviously all sauced, replies,"I didn't even see the Indians." 　
　
On a street...
On a street, where the speed is limited to 30mph the police stops a driver. -"So then. Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been overtaking where it was not allowed. Your lights don't work, your tires all completely worn out... This is surely going to cost you a lot. What's your name ?" -"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic." -"Hmmmm...eh...well, I'll let you go this time...but don't do it again."